Self-Sabotage: Stop Eating in Front of the TV

If you are like millions of other Americans you snack and eat in front of the TV. If you are trying to eat more healthily and reach weight goals, you are seriously sabotaging yourself by doing it! Why is it bad, and how can you stop?

1. Why it’s bad:  TV wants you to eat!

I was watching The Voice with my husband the other night and suddenly I found myself craving Oreos.  Strange?  Well, not really considering the colorful ad that came across the screen encouraging me to indulge in Oreo-deliciousness.  Luckily, there were no Oreos in the house. 

That is how TV sabotages you: delicious-looking food items come across your screen so one moment your belly is blissfully content, the next, you’re craving salty-sweet foods.  One study shows that 1 out of every 5 ads is for food, and 70% of those food ads were for items high in sugar or fat. More than a quarter of the food ads were for fast-food restaurants.

So, simply by sitting in front of the TV you are subconsciously encouraged to go sneak a peek in the pantry.

TV wants you to eat MORE!

When we eat while we watch TV we are not thinking about what we are eating.  A compilation of 24 British studies showed that mindless eating on average leads to an extra 10% calories consumed at the time, and an extra 25% more calories at a future meal. Need I say more?

2. How to stop:  Create a space for mindful eating

CLEAR CLUTTER: If your dining table is covered in junk mail, office work, and take-out boxes, it’s time to clear it all out.  Create a space that makes it *easy* to eat at the table and, just as importantly, makes you *want* to eat at the table. 

CREATE BEAUTY: Your dining area should be inviting and beautiful, fun and friendly. Think of the mood at your favorite restaurant, and then bring that into your dining area. Paint can transform a room, and colors like pumpkin orange, apple red, and corn yellow all set a delicious food friendly mood.

ESTABLISH A RULE: Once you have created an easy-to-use, pleasant space to eat, make a rule that all eating must happen while sitting at the table, for one month. Any cheats extend the timeline for a week.

CREATE A REWARD: Once the month is up and a new habit is formed, set a reward movie on the calendar - maybe every other Friday is popcorn-in-front-of-the-tv night.  Make it a special occasion, not the regular rule.

If you create a place in your home that is not in front of the TV, a place where you enjoy eating, you’ll likely eat less junk food, eat fewer calories, eat higher quality food, and reconnect with yourself and your family in a meaningful way. So, stop eating in front of the TV, and think about repainting the living room.

Is the chair worth your marriage? Notes on compromise, design, and marriage.

I just finished a delightful book called Spousonomics.  I enjoyed it not only because it gave me a fresh way to look at the constant adventure of marriage, but put it in the unfluffy language of economics, as in simple supply and demand.  Sound dry and boring?  It's anything but!  Witty, lighthearted, smart and resourceful, I'd recommend it to newlyweds and long-term partners alike.  

What does this have to do with design?  Well, you know how in the TV show Frasier, Frasier's dad Marty Crane insisted on brining his ugly, icky worn chair into Frasier's perfectly decorated living room?  In part of the book one of the authors reveals the love she held for her own chair, and her husband's feelings about said chair: 

"Nothing did quite as much damage [to the marriage] as the La-Z-Boy.  Paula loved that chair.  She’d owned it for nearly a decade, and she’d dragged it with her every time she changed apartments.  She’d cuddled in it with her bipolar cat before she had to give him up for adoption for being too bipolar.  She’d sat in it listening to depressing Joni Mitchell songs after a long, drawn-out breakup.  That chair wasn’t just a chair; it was a trusted friend.  Upholstered in a soft, worn-in, mud brown velour, it had great lumbar support and a footrest.  It was the most comfortable seat in the house.  How could anyone think otherwise?

Apparently, Nevi could.  When he looked at the chair, he didn’t see good ergonomics or the warm patina of lost youth.  He saw an ugly, frayed, cat-piss-stained brown lump in the middle of his living room.  He said that Paula was overly sentimental about her possessions and that her love for the chair was “unhealthy.”  He said that every time he looked at it, he cringed.  He said in made him unhappy.  

Which Paula thought was insane.  How could merely looking at a chair make a person unhappy?  Wasn’t Nevi being a little melodramatic?"

The author goes on to write:

"In Paula’s case, it wasn’t just that she loved the chair - it was that she couldn’t stand the pain of losing the chair.  Losing it meant losing everything the chair had come to symbolize: her independent single days, her freedom to buy what she wanted and decorate how she wanted, and her ability to sit around doing nothing all day without having to consider the needs of someone else."

And then she asks "was the chair worth another year of fighting with Nevi?"

When I work with my clients I have to help them see their stuff for what it really is, just stuff.  Sometimes this story will end with Nevi coming to terms with how important the chair is to Paula, and letting it be.  Sometimes it will end with Paula understanding that it's just a chair, and letting it go does not mean she has given up her independence or youthful spirit.  And sometimes, in giving up the chair, Paula will realize that while yes, her youth may be in the past, her present is really wonderful and not something to disregard as less worthy than her spirited youth.  

Just like Paula and Nevi, or Frasier and his dad, you might have something in your life of your own or your partner's that is causing friction.  Take a moment to think about the real value of the item, and of the person.  If you can get a little perspective, it might bring a little peace back into the home.

Spend More Time with Friends and Family: New Years Resolution

"Spend More Time With Friends and Family"

This one seems to top the list of many people's New Year's Resolution lists.  If this really is a priority for you, what's getting in the way?  If you, like many of my clients, feel embarrassed by your home, then naturally that is keeping you from inviting over your friends and family.  If the thought of a houseguest makes you anxious, something needs to change.
When I work with a client that shares this goal with me, we do three things to fix the situation.  I ask them to:

1. Imagine the life you WANT to live.  Close your eyes and describe for me what it means to spend time with friends and family.  Paint me a picture, in detail. Where are you?  How many people are there? Who are they?  What are you doing?  How long do people stay?  Who initiated it?

2. Send out invitations.  We all study harder right before a test.  Having a deadline helps motivate action, so I ask my clients to put a date on the calendar and invite the honored guests.  It might just be your spouse or your sister over for a glass of wine, or it might be a dinner party for twelve.  What matters is setting a date and letting people know - trust me, it will help you reach the goal!

3. Take action.  Now for the physical, task-oriented work.  Clear the clutter.  Arrange the furniture to suit how you want to use the room (family dinners?  movie night?  game night?  cuddled next to the fireplace?  everyone crafting in the same room?).  Sell or give away what you don't need, and bring in what you need to finish the space.  That doesn't have to cost a lot of money, but what ever you *do* spend, remember that this is an investment in the life you WANT to live.

You can do these things on your own but I highly recommend involving a friend or a professional who will help you keep your eye on the prize, help you keep objective perspective, and kick you in the butt if you need it.  It's too easy to let go and end up making the same resolution in 2013.

Don't waste this coming year.  If spending more time with friends and family is a priority for you, figure out what you need to do to make it happen, then do it!